Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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