actually, I'm a sock model
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
