My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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