Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I just found a bag of teeth...
It's official drugs can't kill me
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
