I bet he comes in French.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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