bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
