I'm drive I can fine osifer
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize