good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
