Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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