i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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