she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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