i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
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