Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize