he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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