She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
