just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
