one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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