i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
