How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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