i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Semen is not good for contacts.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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