I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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