I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
