I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
