i may or may not be watching the land before time
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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