may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
