Well douche your snatch and let's go!
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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