You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I think I won the penis lottery.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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