And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Randomize
