so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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