it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize