Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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