So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Cover your peen. We're going out.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
