just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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