Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
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