You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
God gave him joint rollers for hands
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Randomize
