She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
