Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Randomize
