No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
