Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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