I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
