Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Sober January is a disaster.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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