Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
