i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
should my penis look like a turkey
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
