I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
