it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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