I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
