normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
