whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
