I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
