i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
3 2 1 whiskey
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
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