Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
