I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
God gave him joint rollers for hands
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
