i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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