Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
