carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
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