I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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