Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
