i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
