genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
