The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
