Define "chronic" masturbator.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
