...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
