Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
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