i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Fuck appropriateness.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
