just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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