Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Randomize
