The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
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