Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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