I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i dont even know how to be here
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
